Kine News, May 2015

[Fay (Storyteller)]

Power Outage in Lakenham Clubs - Verdant keeps the party going!
Chaos struck the party row in Lakenham when the power unexpectedly went out - during happy hour, no less. Verdant was the one place with a backup generator and saw a huge influx of extra bodies. Kudos for dealing with the crowds so well, though it seems like Verdant might need to expand sometime soon!

Corrupt Councillor Exposed!
Earlier this week the Norwich Gazette broke the news of illicit links between Councillor Miles Baker and the Board of Directors of Opal Construction. Writing for Gazette Ms Megan Fowler laid out damning allegations against the Mr Baker, documenting a history of bribes and kickbacks that have allowed Opal Construction to secure eight of the last ten Council contracts that have been put out to tender. Ms Fowler went on to praise the courage of her anonymous source who took a grave risk to supply her with the evidence. Mr Baker has thus far been unavailable for comment and it is believed that the police are currently searching for him in connection with these allegations.

In related news Opal Construction have suffered badly on the stock market, though they have denied any wrongdoing by a member of the board and have promised to co-operate fully with the police in any investigation.

Civil Unrest in the Acle Straight
Demonstrations and protests were seen in the Acle Straight last week. The annual clearing of the area known as "The Encampments" has been especially controversial this year, with protestors staging sit-ins and marches and being subjected to kettling by police officers. Although some violent incidents took place, the situation was mostly kept under control. Campaigner Mr Jacob Grey was witnessed at the scene and was described as a "calming influence", as well as raising an exceptional level of funding for temporary shelters in the Broadland area.

Golden Triangle Musicians Hit The Right Notes
A mini arts and music festival was held in the Golden Triangle to great success, bringing in performers such as The Orange Peels, We Must Be Dreaming, Jane Dallas and more! Yelena Petrova of The Orange Peels said: "Norwich is such a prestigious place to play that we couldn't possibly miss out on the opportunity. Thank you, Norwich, for the wonderful welcome!"

Major Bank Vault Breached
In a vicious attack on a branch of a major bank, a vault was broken into and emptied. An anonymous source confirmed that although one of the thieves was injured on the premises, the robbery was "highly professional" and involved the use of a thermal lance and tampering of cameras and other security systems. Several security guards have been hospitalised as a result.

There has been no official comment from the bank and as yet the names of the victims are unreleased.

Spiritual Healing Centre Expansion
New at the Spiritual Healing Centre: We are happy to announce that iridology is now on offer as one of our many complementary health packages. The eyes are the window to the soul: understand your own eyes and unlock ways of understanding your own mind and body! Group sessions also on offer.

A Snail Is For Life
Police have reported a rise in exotic animal smuggling recently. The officer in charge of the operation to crack down on this trade is Constable Moira Stanhope, who spoke to us about the challenges involved: "It's particularly difficult to deal with cases like this because it not only involves illegal trade, but also living creatures, so we have to co-ordinate heavily with the RSPCA and other bodies to ensure that they are treated well when they are recovered." The trade has taken a worrying turn, as the rise recently has been in venomous or poisonous animals, with an unnamed man being taken into custody but later released when he was reportedly asking local petshops about buying a rare snail with venom that can paralyse or even kill humans. If you have any information about this, please contact the Norfolk Constabulary.