Kine News December 2016-January 2017

[Magpie (Storyteller)]

Surprising Lack of Murder
Things have been surprisingly quiet here in A Crime City (www.acrimecity.com)! Distinct lack of grisly murders. The Phobophobia Killer (we coined it here first, folks!) seems to be having a quiet couple of months after some truly horrifying kills with macabre theatrics at the scenes, including filming their victims’ last moments of utter terror, killing them in line with their phobias and the words ‘this is my design’ emblazoned on the walls. Maybe they have a New Year’s resolution not to kill? Anyway, here’s a look back at the crime details from this year that the police didn’t want you to see! Check out our gallery, exclusive photos from scenes across Norwich. Warning: may upset more sensitive souls, or those who are eating dinner.

MOGAI Community Rallies Round
Independent fashion designer Nuit Rouge has experienced an upsurge in popularity following their accusation that Best Foot Forward, Norwich’s leading public image company, unceremoniously dropped the designer from a major campaign. Prominent members of the MOGAI community, including events promoter Cassie Ceinwen, singer Lexa (recently the focus of a similar controversy), blogger Safa and socialite Bryce Villiers, have shown support for this campaign against discriminatory industry practices.

Property Damage Is...
Norwich’s resident Banksy-wannabe (now identifying themselves as wØke) is at it again, with extensive defacing of the headquarters of big businesses, both Norwich-based and national chains. This latest campaign appears to be a riff on the ‘love is’ series, twisting the twee messages into an anti-capitalist commentary. The police have not yet responded to questions about whether they will crack down on vandalism, graffiti and anti-social behaviour.

[Picture showing street art signed by ‘wØke’, with the words ‘profit is’ in flowery writing followed by a sad- and dishevelled-looking couple and the words ‘the unpaid wages of the workers’]

Can Weatherly Weather This?
We have unverified reports that the Broads Bank, one of Norwich’s largest banking institutions, has been hit by hackers who have stolen a significant amount of money. Jonas Weatherly, CEO of Broads Bank, has issued a statement claiming that no such activity has occurred and that a power failure caused a computer malfunction that sent a number of false reports through the system, but assures clients of the bank that the situation is well under control. Meanwhile, an employee of the bank who wishes to remain anonymous has told this newspaper that the Broads Bank has suffered a catastrophic security breach and not only that, cannot trace how it occurred! This person claims that the breach ‘should not have been possible’. More news as we have it, but in the wake of these accusations, Broads Bank has seen a fall in stock and at least two senior members of staff have resigned. Some have claimed that this bold act signals the return of infamous hacktivist pan0pt1c0n, who hacked Norwich police’s database and publicly released the details of hundreds of overlooked offences relating to one of Norwich’s biggest corruption cases.

Our January Stylespiration: Natalie Leighton-Masters
Spotted! Following her seeming breakdown and withdrawal from public life, Natalie Leighton-Masters seen boarding a plane at Norwich Airport. Is she taking some time to get away from it all, jetting off to a faraway place for a new, secretive project or making a fresh start elsewhere? Natalie, pictured here, wowed even in her casual clothes, with a look that combines winter cosiness with fashion-forward cutouts. Here’s hoping that wherever she ends up, Natalie continues to inspire us all with her trendsetting style.